Breaking News.

Yesterday Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf shed his military uniform--and a few tears.

The tears were later put under house arrest, beaten, and--somewhat ironically--sprayed with tear gas.

Experts say the tears will soon be replaced with tears more faithful to Musharraf.

Others believe the tears did not belong to Musharraf at all but rather to an unnamed crocodile.

--E. R. O'Neill